View Full Version : The Pre-Teen Years

01-28-2011, 05:00 PM
Anyone have one?

My daughter is twelve. She'll be thirteen in May, and then we'll be on to a (kind of) new stage in life. But for now, pre-teen she is, and I struggle with making appropriate choices.

I don't want to get too specific about things for reasons that will become clear in just a moment, but I'm curious as to where other parents draw the line on some issues and what issues just aren't worth the fight to you. I'm also interested in what parents of younger children think they will do when an issue arises. It's often not what you actually do! I'm guilty.

OK, so. Underwear. My daugher has presented some extremely good arguments, mostly related to how her clothing fits, about being allowed to wear some skimpier underthings. My initial thought is OMG SHE IS TWELVE HELL NO IS SHE WEARING A THONG, right?! But then I try to be objective and yes, briefs do hang out of everything she has to wear on the bottom and yes, they do bunch up and make for an uncomfortable situation. And what's the big deal anyway? It's just underwear, right?

We've also battled about bras. She wants zebra stripe, polka dot, lacy and name brand. I think she should stick with white. This is a battle I have chosen to bow out of because it's just not worth the fight and really, is it that big of a deal? Probably not.

Also, shaving. And tampons. All kinds of things I feel uncomfortable talking about on a public forum, yet I feel like I need to talk to people to make sure I'm not ultra-crazy-liberal mom who lets her daughter do whatever and maybe pushes her too hard in that direction OR ultra-crazy-conservative mom who doesn't let her child do normal things and shields her from growing up with freedom.

So. Let's talk about some of the struggles we have with our pre-teens "coming of age" and what not. It's no fun.

01-29-2011, 09:05 PM
I don't have a preteen daughter and never will, but I can offer at least on the undergarments the compromise my mom and i came up with.

For underwear we agreed that bikini cut was a good compromise, still had full bum coverage but was "skimpier" than a full brief underpant - as for colours/prints it was pretty much whatever came in the Hanes packages -l-. For bras I had basic colours (white, black, cream) and when I was around 14 my mom gave in and I was allowed to get simple prints like polkadots, paisley, hearts. I was not allowed any crazy colours, lace or animal prints however.

Shaving and tampons.. i just did it, it was after i started shaving and using tampons, my mom noticed/realized and took me out to get good shaving stuff and told me about safety/use of the tampons.