View Full Version : I am nobody's mother and never will be

05-17-2012, 10:04 PM
An interesting piece on CNN today. (http://www.cnn.com/2012/05/11/living/kinsman-never-a-mother/index.html?iref=obnetwork)

I was also pleasantly surprised to see quite a number of supportive comments in the discussion section!

05-19-2012, 01:44 PM
That was a great piece.

11-29-2012, 11:12 AM
lol sweet

11-29-2012, 09:28 PM
Fabulous contribution. When do we expect the spam to begin?

11-29-2012, 11:15 PM
lol sweet


11-30-2012, 01:21 AM
You were brave to read the comments, Erin. I've gotten to the point that I'm afraid to even scroll that far on any website.

The article highlights something that really irks me about breeders' attitudes toward child-free people: that if you're child-free, you must be unhappy, barren, incomplete, or lonely. It's funny because I get the same argument lobbed at me by Christians for being an atheist. I think some people are too thick to realize that there are more paths to happiness and fulfillment than the one they're on personally.

It's also nice for the author to mention the fact that she's happy for her friends who are happy to have kids or become parents. My sister and I are each leaning toward being child-free but we both actually like kids. A lot of people (most of them other women) unfairly assume that my sister hates children because she's a woman who chooses not to have her own. It's such bullshit.

11-30-2012, 02:56 AM
Definitely bullshit. On the flip side of that, though, I hate when women who don't like children are vilified. It's bad enough that I don't want to have kids, but heaven forbid I don't at least like them! (I am definitely not saying you're saying this! Just a general comment.) I'm happy for anyone who's happy to have kids and I don't want to dropkick babies or anything, but I really don't like children very much and I don't like being around them. In a lot of people's eyes, that makes me some sort of soulless demon. I've gotten used to pretending I like them. I mean, of course I'll be nice to kids if they're around, but I mean more like fake-cooing at pictures of babies and the like.

Tulip In A Cup
11-30-2012, 04:53 AM
My sister calls me " the baby hater". Which is completely far from the truth. She says she is joking but I question how much she actually is. She recently had her first baby, so she is still on the I just had a baby high. She recently texted me about how I am "so missing out on having a baby",that it is the best thing EVER and I NEED to have a baby!!!. It reminds me of my mom who basically demanded I have kids shortly after I got married "to give her the first grandchildren" since I was the first to be married. Sadly, my mom died before she saw any of her grand kids.

(Spoiler due to length, I started to ramble ;))

I respect people who have children, if that suits their life and that it is really want they want, planned or not. When my sister told me she was pregnant said she thought I would tell her to have an abortion when I found out since she knows that would be my plan if my birth control failed. That really offended me because I would never push my choice on someone else, I would respect whatever choice she made.

I can even say I like some peoples kids but on the other hand hate some kids too. Some of the hateful attitudes that I have gotten because I made a choice to not have kids is really shocking. For me, it's the opposite I am more accepted for being an Atheist than being childfree. A woman in the past telling me that she didn't understand any woman who wouldn't have a child and that is what we are here for and have a womb. [banghead]

I have sisters half my age, by default and because we were there, us older kids were free babysitters for my mom and step-dad. Changing diapers, doing their laundry, cleaning their room, making sure they do their homework, baths and then our chores around the house etc! The whole Nine yards! We did everything a parent would do. The burden fell on me more so because my brother who still lived at home had some pretty severe mental issues and was not able to help.
It was from when I was 12 until 22 when I finally got my ass out of there. That was what just completely turned me off on having kids, in sense it's like I already had them and raised them. I am still maternal toward them, even now that they are 16 and 18.

11-30-2012, 05:06 PM
A woman in the past telling me that she didn't understand any woman who wouldn't have a child and that is what we are here for and have a womb. [banghead]

Ugh. I'd just have to tell her that I was sorry for her, that there was so little of value in her mind and life that the only thing she could accomplish in life is to give birth, which a huge portion of the world is capable of doing with little fanfare. Don't get me wrong -- I understand that there are many women who want to have children, even long to have them. My mother (an incredibly intelligent woman who could probably have done anything with her life) told me that being a mother was the job she really wanted, and I don't think less of her for that. She has a wide variety of interests and talents, and she's a great mother. (At least I think so!) But I don't think she'd ever say that having a kid was the entire reason for her existence.

Well, at least he/it garnered a bit of interest in the article, which I recall greatly enjoying when I read it originally!