PDA

View Full Version : Let's talk about sex, baby



toriMODE
08-09-2017, 10:12 PM
Two topics I'm curious about and want to hear from you peeps! <3

1. Do you consider oral sex to be sex? Or is only anal sex, sex?
2. How many people do you think is too many to have sex with, in which you are considered a whore?

plastic•husband
08-09-2017, 11:12 PM
1. Yes
2. Wtf?

toriMODE
08-09-2017, 11:13 PM
1. Yes
2. Wtf?

Yes to which part?
We are not slut-shaming people here, just wondered what people's thoughts were.

dollsbitches
08-09-2017, 11:19 PM
1) yes
2) there is no max.

plastic•husband
08-09-2017, 11:20 PM
Yes, oral sex is sex, hence "oral sex".
It's ridiculous and arbitrary to deem someone a "whore" because they've surpassed a certain number.
Hope that helps.

toriMODE
08-09-2017, 11:22 PM
I agree it is, but I feel it's inherent for a person to feel like a whore for sleeping with too many people. What that number is to one person is probably very different to another person. I'm just exploring that thought process here.

Ryan
08-09-2017, 11:33 PM
Of course oral sex is sex. I don't even think you have to have penetrative sex for something to be classified as a sex act. If two people are getting off together, it's a form of sex.

toriMODE
08-09-2017, 11:36 PM
I've always been in the same school of thought that oral sex is sex. But I do know many people who don't consider it actual sex.

Spikey
08-09-2017, 11:43 PM
https://i.imgflip.com/1tudtf.gif

You talk like I should remember everyone I fucked with. Like I even want to.

toriMODE
08-09-2017, 11:45 PM
I was toasty on margaritas last night, and I tried to remember my number. It was very difficult to do, but I think I remember everyone.

andy
08-09-2017, 11:47 PM
I just stumbled across this thread and I had to comment. I can't even deal with these options. I've had anal sex with over a thousand people (and I'm willing to bet that's a conservative estimate) at this point. Do I know my number? No. I didn't even get some of their names. I'm sure plenty of people consider me a whore. Back in the day on this forum people used to talk shit about me for being open about this stuff, call me all kinds of things, shake their heads like I didn't know what I was doing. Do I care? Not really. I've had a wonderful and exciting sex life. Do I judge anyone for having sex with any number of people small or large? No, never. Do I always lose at never have I ever? I usually don't even play. I have no regrets about the number of people I've had sex with. I am really sex positive and open about this stuff. I don't believe in shaming anyone for their actions and I am friends with people who have had more and way less sex than I have - it doesn't get in the way of us supporting each other as people at all.

As for what I consider sex - well, the oral sex argument is one I remember from high school back when virginity was a concept people cared about. It's just way more complex than that. Taking virginity as an example, I don't really believe in it but I wonder - do I consider it my virginity when I first had consensual anal sex with a guy at 18? When I first had penetrative sex with a girl at 15? When I first got fucked by a neighbour when I was 8? Honestly, if you get naked and roll around with someone, if you have an experience where you put your bodies together in an intimate way, then it's sex, unless you don't consider it sex. It's all completely subjective and the more we talk about it openly the less these questions begin to matter.

toriMODE
08-09-2017, 11:48 PM
Thanks for your candor, Andy :)

Ryan
08-09-2017, 11:49 PM
Do I always lose at never have I ever? I usually don't even play.

;l Oh Andy. I just had this experience a few weekends ago with a bunch of straight Marine boys in their 20s. They all had some drinks and wanted to play, and I was like, "Yeah I think I'm sitting this one out."

Spikey
08-09-2017, 11:53 PM
I can't even deal with these options.

Same.

It should be
a) I'm ugly
b) 100-500
c) 500-1000
d) 1000-2000
e) 2000+ not yet a whore
f) other, please specify

toriMODE
08-09-2017, 11:54 PM
;l

dAmION
08-09-2017, 11:58 PM
I think its been something around 30-40 since I lost my virginity at 21 which doesn't seem like that much but then thinking about it some of these sexual experiences were better than others and didn't all involve anal sex. I actually haven't been sexually active for QUITE A WHILE. And that's been for a number of reasons (tired of pointless, one-off hook-ups..STDs...etc.) I really want to wait until i'm in a relationship to have sex next. I don't think there's an upward number of sexual partners that equals (WHOREDOM!) but maybe whore is more of a "mindset" and "approach" to sex rather than an actual number.

edit: Oh and I think oral sex constitutes sex, I would say foreplay does as well.

toriMODE
08-10-2017, 12:03 AM
Yes it's all about your outlook on sex.

stoneforest
08-10-2017, 12:07 AM
Oral sex is sex. Anything with penetration is sex. My number is in the lower double digits. I'm a misanthropic stoner so basically as long as I've got some pot, I'm good. Besides, my left hand and I are getting pretty serious. I'm about to put a ring on it.

plastic•husband
08-10-2017, 12:29 AM
^lol same. Right down to the left-handed part.

andy
08-10-2017, 07:30 AM
I will say I might have had as much sex out of curiosity s I have out of attraction.

Nick
08-10-2017, 08:11 PM
My numbers have been a roller-coaster; I had sex twice at 21 (on the same day, thanks gay.com!) and then probably didn't start again until 23, had a really nice 4 year stretch to put me in the highest echelons of the survey, followed up immediately by 7 years of monogomy (it's awful I don't recommend it!)

That said, I classify as any co-getting-off as sex. I didn't start oral/anal until a bit later on and was always something of a STD worrier, but I definitely don't feel like the "rolling around til we're both messy" era wasn't "sex".

thestrand
08-10-2017, 08:26 PM
1. I think individuals can choose how they define oral sex. Some people believe they haven't lost their virginity until anal/vaginal sex. That's ok. I personally think of it as sex, but to each his/her own.

My number is in the 4 digits (as a bottom in anal sex). Not sure exact number. I'd guess between 1 - 1.5k.

Spikey
08-10-2017, 10:57 PM
Well, I love sex, and I do it a lot. Still, I was kidding in my last post: I think it is just fucking sad that I can't even remember each and every one of them. I mean, I wish I could. It actually makes me sad I can't. I wish I had kept a diary or something. Even with one-night stands I form these miniature romances with them, for at least a day, it is like stealing small pieces of peoples lives. Sometimes they stick around for years as bf. Other times I never see them again.

This song reminds me of exactly that feeling =/



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56m6P_L4TSg

How to walk and where to run
I see you kissing other peoples arms
I see you kissing in cheap bars
How to walk and where to run
I see you kissing oblivious
Loving only your pain
I'm walking in oblivion
I walk with a childs face
Remembering our days walking in oblivion
Its gotta give its gotta change
Today is the day

To all the men whom I've loved
Something to free your angry hearts
I'm opening up my arms
To all the men whom I've loved
Speak of the fear inside
Its time to change, there still is time
Do you remember walking?
Do you remember watching?
Our faces in the falling hearts of children
To all the men whom I've loved
I dedicate my song saying:
Today is the day

So we fall and we fall again
And I have come to tell you today
That I loved you, theres still time to save
The falling hearts of our children

Through hating and loving
Through lucking and nothing
Through a manner of sorrows that I have spoken
I open up my tender heart
To all the men whom I've loved
All of those who I adored
But I remember something
I remember walking when my heart was frozen with that feeling
Its gotta give its gotta change
Turning round and round saying
Today is the day

EnjoyJoy
08-11-2017, 01:00 AM
I've had anal sex with 3 men, because that's the number of men who've asked me to have anal sex with them.

I've had more sexual partners (high tens, low twenties, can't be bothered to count) who just didn't want it. I still think what we did was sex.

Nick
08-11-2017, 02:29 AM
Well, I love sex, and I do it a lot. Still, I was kidding in my last post: I think it is just fucking sad that I can't even remember each and every one of them. I mean, I wish I could. It actually makes me sad I can't. I wish I had kept a diary or something. Even with one-night stands I form these miniature romances with them, for at least a day, it is like stealing small pieces of peoples lives. Sometimes they stick around for years as bf. Other times I never see them again.


Most of mine originated online, so a few years ago I went back and dug up as many of their pictures as I could and made a little folder on my hard drive. There's at least one I found who was ridiculously hot and who I vaguely remember but have no recollection of what we actually did together. I just have an after-the-fact e-mail that said "thanks that was fun!" It's like, now that I'm not allowed to have sex with anyone else, how am I supposed to masturbate to the memory of out-of-my-league former encounters I can't even remember?!?!

I never made it past low triple digits though. I kind of regret becoming not-single right when the hook-up apps started to come out. And anal? Was never that crazy about it so probably topped out (pun intended) at 20-30.

dollsbitches
08-19-2017, 09:59 AM
I will say I might have had as much sex out of curiosity s I have out of attraction.

THIS! Sex is so different with each person, the dynamics can completely change and I find that very interesting. People you have this preconception about can end up totally surprising you, and vice versa.

I do have to say, my favorite 'hookups' are the ones where you think it's going to be a brief 20-30 minute thing and you end up spending almost 24 hours together. I LOVE that. But you can only have that kind of surprise with someone once.

waitressboy
08-19-2017, 12:41 PM
I totally see how you are surprised by the idea not considering oral sex as sex.
But lately I've met a lot (LOT) of people under 30, girls and boys, gays and straight, who thinks that a blow job is not sex. Sex is penis and ass or penis and pussy. all the other combinations are not sex.
I remember that I talked with a guy once who was telling that once she went to a sauna but she didn't have sex, he only made blowjobs. I tried to explain him that oral sex is sex, and his answer was "no, it's not sex because you can't get hiv".
So, yeah, in my country there are lots of fucked up ideas about sex.
(And don't get me started with girls who believe that they can't get pregnant on their first time so they don't use condom because "there's no risk at all" [sic])

Nick
08-20-2017, 03:52 AM
THIS! Sex is so different with each person, the dynamics can completely change and I find that very interesting. People you have this preconception about can end up totally surprising you, and vice versa.

I do have to say, my favorite 'hookups' are the ones where you think it's going to be a brief 20-30 minute thing and you end up spending almost 24 hours together. I LOVE that. But you can only have that kind of surprise with someone once.

I know people everywhere seem to hate Lena Dunham and Girls but the episode where she had a sex-day with Patrick Wilson... I mean I've had that exact day like 3 times in my life (well not with Patrick Wilson, unfortunately, but the 24-hour WTF-was-that?) It really has such a weird kind of magic to it.

dAmION
08-21-2017, 03:14 AM
^I've had a sex 'afternoon' but never a full day thing. I agree with dolls that you really need the right kind of chemistry for that to happen. And it is definitely something special. (Although the guy I was with turned out to be certifiable.). [smirk]

toriMODE
08-21-2017, 03:53 PM
I used to have sex weekends with my ex. We'd get stoned and pretty much do it non stop. I think we maxed out at 9 times one weekend.