PDA

View Full Version : Article: "I Had My Tubes Tied"



stillorbiting
07-07-2010, 07:36 PM
I thought you guys would enjoy this article. It was written by a dear friend of mine, who used to be my housemate back in college.

http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-girl-talk-i-had-my-tubes-tied/

I might be biased because she's my friend, but I think this is really well-written, smart, and rational. And it's also informative about the process for anyone here who's interested in getting it done at some point (like myself).

It makes me want to move to Europe. The chances of getting a doctor as wonderful as hers to do this for me here in the USA are slim to none.


Itís tough to find statistics about how many young, childfree women have their tubes tied because finding a doctor to perform the surgery without ever giving birth is a task so laborious it fills childfree online forums with horror stories that occasionally leak to the mainstream as well. Because the paternalistic American medical system simply wonít acknowledge this particular aspect of a womanís so-called right to choose ó the choice to opt out entirely ó itís therefore equally hard to determine how your procedure might compare to that of others, and if your recovery process is predictable in any way.

Robin Sparkles
07-07-2010, 09:55 PM
It's my understanding that it is pretty close to impossible to get your tubes tied if you are young (under 35) and never had children. Fortunately tubal implants are now available, which is a quicker procedure (and out-patient, I believe), and much less expensive. My gynecologist has kids and is a family woman, but is extremely supportive of those who chose to be childfree.

eurotrash
07-08-2010, 04:28 PM
I like her stance on staying away from the most negative child-free people. Everyone has the right to have opinions and voice them, and I'll admit I use the term "crotchdropping" in this forum. But in mixed company I think it's just tacky. Even if you're being bingoed; there are plenty of graceful responses. If I expect people to respect my choice, I need to respect theirs as well. My best friend had a baby last year and while I wish she had not given up her career to do so, I'm try to understand the ways in which being a mom makes her happy.

jeth
09-01-2010, 04:05 PM
I just wanted to share that I have my Essure procedure scheduled for December. I had to see a new doctor today who (before even hearing the medical basis for my request) said "I don't care how many kids you have, I don't care what your reasons are, you are a woman and it's your body and I will support any decision you make regarding it."

[post28]!

Autumn
09-01-2010, 04:48 PM
It's my understanding that it is pretty close to impossible to get your tubes tied if you are young (under 35) and never had children. Fortunately tubal implants are now available, which is a quicker procedure (and out-patient, I believe), and much less expensive. My gynecologist has kids and is a family woman, but is extremely supportive of those who chose to be childfree.

I think it depends on your doctor. When I went to my doctor complaining about severe cramps (that I only had for two months), he gave me several options - from Midol to a hysterectomy. I was kind of surprised because I'm 30 (I do have a child, though), but he said it would be no problem. I don't know what would have happened if I said, "OK, I want that", but he acted like it was NBD. He's an oncologist though, and seems pretty liberal-minded, so his mindframe might be different.

Chalk
09-01-2010, 04:58 PM
I liked the article. I also liked that she mentioned that she didn't have a traumatizing childhood for making such decision. I've had a good childhood, and I have siblings but I still don't want to have children. And it doesn't mean that I hate children either.

I really liked this comment (http://pluck.thefrisky.com/ver1.0/gocomm?ck=CommentKey%3a0286391f-7ad5-4af4-bdae-2864154cf1d6):

I always love to hear about other women who are making the choice not to have children. People always expect you to explain why you don't want to have children, but I think people who want children should have to explain themselves. Parenthood shouldn't be the default, it should be something you decide to do because you really want children.

hollerskates
09-01-2010, 11:28 PM
i cannot wait to hear how it goes for you. i have an appt next week and will definitely be asking my doc about it.

jeth
09-02-2010, 03:54 AM
How soon are you planning on doing it (the procedure, I mean)?

I have a co-worker who had it done and she said she felt a few crampy twinges the day of but otherwise she was okay. She was back at work the next day. She's really given me the encouragement to get off my backside and get it over with already.

SparkleMotion
09-02-2010, 05:26 AM
Good luck, Jeth!

hollerskates
09-03-2010, 05:16 PM
How soon are you planning on doing it (the procedure, I mean)?
i don't really have a time frame in mind yet. gotta find out if my insurance covers it.

hollerskates
09-15-2010, 09:51 PM
just found out today that they do cover it, but not until i meet my huge deductible, which will never happen since i'm never sick. and even then, i could be on birth control for 21 more years before i equal what it would cost out of pocket to get the procedure done. guess i'm going to be a bc pill lifer!

jeth
09-16-2010, 12:39 AM
:( I'm so sorry. Here's hoping you end up on a lower deductible plan at some point and you can get it done. [post28]

I always meet my deductible very early in the year. :(

tivoklr
11-07-2010, 08:54 PM
After the Essure, get the hysterosalpingogram (HSG) to confirm successful scarring of BOTH fallopian tubes. I just scanned a pregnant patient with Essure...it happens.

Tulip In A Cup
12-05-2010, 06:38 PM
I actually have never asked a doctor if they would tie my tubes because I have always known that you have to usually be over 25 and have a few kids. I do wish that doctors would shut up and let a woman chose what they want. I would totally get my tubes tied but I am nervous for the backlash and the questions and shock, things that I have had to deal with from people who cannot fathom why I wouldn't want children. I do like children like my niece but I have no desire to have my own. In the comments of that article someone stated that they feel more maternal toward puppies. For me is kittens and cats all the way!!!
I am one of those ones that did have a traumatic childhood that I still deal with to this day. But I didn't always choose to be child free. When I was in high school, I wanted kids and used to write down baby names I loved. But then I got married and for a month or 2 after I did kind of want kids, a little. Even though when I first met my husband we both knew we didn't. I think it was that spell you are under when you are first married and everything is perfect and new. But I got over that really quickly after being together and experiencing first hand the freedom that you have when its just you and your partner. Its something that cannot be replaced. My mom started having kids at 21 and she had young kids in the house until she died at 50, she never knew what it was like to be an adult and not have the burden of kids. She was so co-dependent on kids she wanted all of us to live so close to her so she could hang on to us. I am 28 and I am completely and utterly adamant that I do not want kids. She would always tell me have a kid for her because she needs a grandchild. I told her no and that my 6 other siblings including my step sister can help her out on that one!!

jeth
12-16-2010, 01:01 AM
Update: I wasn't able to have Essure, as they felt I was a risk for anesthesia complications at this time. I had an IUD put in instead. The hope is that when five years are up (or hopefully earlier), I'll be medically stabilized and we can proceed with a hysterectomy and be done with the need for hormone therapy and the risk of pregnancy in one fell swoop.

Pain rating: Substantially less painful than an endometrial biopsy, but still pretty damn painful.

cinny~lou
12-17-2010, 12:30 AM
^ Really? Crud. I was hoping to get an IUD should I ever need birth control again...but I have a really, really low pain tolerance.

jeth
12-17-2010, 05:08 AM
Insertion probably only took a minute. It's possible that maybe it would have hurt less if they hadn't been doing a biopsy in the first place, thus making the whole area really sensitive? I dunno. I'm still cramping, but either one could be the culprit. It's not the worst cramping I've ever had or anything (D&Cs are much worse) if that's any consolation.

I would say that while it's painful, it's only once every five years. And in my case, major medical picks it up so I'm going to save oodles in pharmacy copays by not having to be on the ring anymore.

ontheindianside
12-18-2010, 04:24 PM
A friend of mine got an IUD (copper) and said she was in pain for at least a few weeks. Her gyno gave her vicodin, though, which should up your pain tolerance, cinny. I'd just say find a doctor who takes your pain seriously and isn't squeamish about controlled substances.

cinny~lou
12-20-2010, 01:21 AM
^ Pain for WEEKS? Vicodin? Wow. I didn't realize it was so...involved? Invasive?

Em
12-20-2010, 02:14 AM
I guess it's different for everyone, but that seems a bit extreme. I'm on my second IUD, and the second insertion was shockingly unpleasant compared to my first insertion, and I was crampy and uncomfortable for the rest of the day, but woke up the next day feeling normal. I only had regular ol' Tylenol and used a hot water bottle the day of. The first one I'd gotten 3 months post partum, so it was a breeze, and thus why the second insertion was so different. It wasn't my favorite day of the year, but well worth it not having to deal with other methods. I plan on getting the Essure done as soon as my insurance covers it [though hearing about that drug cocktail freaks me out - I'm extremely pill phobic!]

jeth
12-20-2010, 05:14 AM
My cramping only lasted three days, and it wasn't continuous - the first day was pretty much all morning, then all evening. The next day it didn't start until evening. By Friday, it didn't kick in until mid-afternoon and only lasted an hour. Haven't felt anything since. Tylenol (3 of them at a time) pretty much took care of most of the pain.

lexa
12-20-2010, 11:04 AM
You can now get sterilised in your lunch hour in London (http://www.metro.co.uk/news/850943-get-sterilised-in-your-lunch-hour).

ontheindianside
12-20-2010, 12:07 PM
^ Pain for WEEKS? Vicodin? Wow. I didn't realize it was so...involved? Invasive?

She may have a low pain tolerance. I don't know her that well and only heard her tell of it. But she also hasn't had children, and I hear it's more painful that way.

jeth
12-20-2010, 05:53 PM
^ The copper ones are probably less flexible than Mirena as well, so I be that contributed to the increased pain experience.

jeth
12-20-2010, 07:20 PM
^ Ha, TRUE.

The first time I had to have a biopsy (which hurts way, way more than an IUD) I wasn't told to do anything special, and when the nurse walked in she was all "Oh, you look REALLY calm considering what's about to happen." That should have been my sign to run very fast out that door, but ignorant me just sat there wondering "What was she going on about?" Five minutes later, I was trying to restrain myself from kicking my doctor straight in the face for not warning me what to expect.

As for an IUD, I really don't think it's something you would ever need to be knocked out for though. The worst pain is short-lived. Excruciating, yes, but short-lived. If it took ten minutes to do, then yes, they'd have to knock you out.

ontheindianside
12-21-2010, 12:14 PM
If an IUD hurts so fucking bad, why don't they knock you out to put it in? At the very least give you some happy juice? If this were men they'd have them on an OxyContin morphine valium drip and let them drink a fifth of Jack before they got there. WTF.

That, and they'd get period leave.

And after that near-explanation of a biopsy, I feel VERY, VERY lucky never to have had to have one and hope (but doubt) I'll stay that way!